There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

the last day

Two years ago today was the last day that I saw Mark smile...

the last day that he held my hand...

the last day that I saw his beautiful brown eyes looking up at me...

the last day that I heard him laugh...

the last day that he called me "mama"...

the last day that he played with his sisters...

the last day that my heart wasn't shattered.

Joe and I believe that Mark went to heaven on this the time of his drowning, even though his body remained here with us for another week. We are thankful that we had the chance to cuddle with him and hold him for the last time and that family and friends were able to say goodbye.

The hole in my heart grows bigger every day and I, too, am pain and in grief. Such small words to try and describe the biggest pain that anyone can experience in this life.

It is time for him to come home. Please Lord, send him back to me.


  1. I know that there are no words. All that I know to say is that I am so, so very sorry

    Loving Laynee and Missing Mark

  2. Your are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry for your sorrow. ((HUGS))

  3. Thinking of you and sitting with you through your pain and heartache. I often wonder if my heart will ever feel whole again....I don't think it can. Love and prayers going out to you and your family, and although I don't know your, your family, and never met Mark...I see his smile in my mind from time to time and I thank God for his beautiful life.

  4. ((hugs)) I am so.very.sorry. :'(

  5. I am so sorry Angie. Hearing or seeing the name Mark no longer unnoticeably enters and leaves my brain...Anytime I see or hear Mark's name, I think of you. At first, my stomack sinks-in and it takes my breath away thinking of the loss you experience every day. If I don't distract myself, I can cry and cry for you. Then I think of his beautiful face in the pictures you have posted. Lastly, I say a prayer for you and your family. I realize that shorftly after, my mind gets distracted by the day-to-day occurences, and that you rarely, if ever, get that distraction. I am so, so sorry for the pain you are experiencing in the life that God chose for your family. It just seems so unfair. I pray that Mark can come to you in your dreams and give you a peaceful smile so that you know he is ok. A while after my great-grandfather passed away, he actually appeared to my grand-mother and her brother (separately), the same night, at the same time, but they lived in different states across the country. He was in the same clothing and just peacefully smiled letting them know everything was ok. I pray and pray that you will receive your sign, somehow, someway.

    Thinking of you and praying for you, especially during this next week.

  6. "The best prayers have more often groans than words."
    John Bunyan

    He will swallow up death for all time,
    And the Lord GOD
    will wipe tears away from all faces,
    And He will remove the reproach of His people
    from all the earth;
    For the LORD has spoken.
    And it will be said in that day,
    "Behold, this is our God for whom we have waited that He might save us
    This is the LORD for whom we have waited."
    Isaiah 25:8-9

    You are so right, Angie - it is time, long past time, for you to see Mark's face again.

    This waiting is a torture beyond any words. Our groans will have to say it all for now.

    Lord, we are waiting for the relief that only You can bring and the Day when all the tears will be wiped away from all the faces.

    Aching with you today,

    Cathy in Missouri

  7. Angie,
    We hear your hurt and hurt with and for you. That Mark isn't here with you all is just terrible, incomprehensible, and wrong. We know you miss him like fire! Come quickly, Lord Jesus!

  8. I'm so sorry. I pray that God can comfort you in your pain.

  9. just found you.... my heart says these things with you...... my last day was august 11, 2009.... i'll be thinking of you on august 10th..... (((hugs)))

  10. ((hugs)) I am just so so sorry, praying for you..

  11. Angie,

    Mark *is* home. One day God will call us all home and we will all be reunited. That glorious day is what I live for these days.

    Take care,

  12. Angie,
    I understand, oh how I understand. It does not make it easier but I hope you can find the hope and strength that everyone is praying finds you. I know I am. I am beginning our season as well. I have fallen apart more than I have stayed together the last week or so.

    Just remember...for every tear you cry, God cries a thousand more. He weeps with you and grieves with you. And He will hold on tight. He is holding Mark as well. Think of it as a very big hug for all of you. It won't make your arms ache less, but it may help your heart.

  13. Hi Angie,
    pray for you often...still. Its hard to know what to say, I will just say the name of JESUS....JESUS!

    Stay on the Word, it is living just as your MArk and our Joel are!!