There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

More Thoughts

Do you know what these are??? These are the most amazing, flexible, coolest...I mean, these are the stickiest, messiest pieces of string that I have ever seen. Pieces of rainbow that can decorate just about anything and leave a waxy residue on everything that they touch. However, there is no denying that my children LOVE their BENDAROOS! (a present from Mom and Dad for Madison's 7th birthday this past April. Oh, and we didn't order them from the infomercial...Walgreens has a whole section of those "As seen on TV" things!) Aaaaaaaand, if you notice in the above get 500 of them in one box! Talk about non-stop fun.

It seems that once this "box of fun" has been opened, these wonderful, stick-to-anything strings become stuck to, yes, everything! And not just at the designated arts and crafts area...noooooooo. I find them on the walls, on the table, wrapped around old milk jugs that have been pulled from the recycling container and mostly, I find them stuck in the carpet. Yes, our house becomes one huge BENDAROOS canvas.
Which brings me to my point. Are you under the impression that I am opposed to these silly, over-priced pieces of fun that occasionally take over my house? Does it seem that I would like to just make the box magically disappear? The answer is no...absolutely not!
Honestly, before Mark died, my answer may have been "yes"! It probably would have depended on the day that you asked. With four children around the house...all 7 years and under...things got a little messy around here. Okay, things got a LOT messy around here. And there were definitely days that I would have just loved to have a house that was perfectly picked up and clean. Now, well, I still like a clean house, but I would much rather have a house that has evidence of children. Proof that I am living with three little miracles straight from Heaven.
Toys in every room...crumbs on the floor and even BENDAROOS in the carpet. It is all a reminder that I have children that God has blessed me with. Each dirty sock in the yard, empty yogurt container that didn't get thrown in the trash...every splatter of toothpaste on the bathroom mirror and each and every one of the kids 200 stuffed animals that grace each bedroom...well, they give me perspective like never before. They remind me that three of my children are still here with me!
Yes, I am so glad to have my children's belongings strewn all over the house. I only wish that Mark was still here to participate in the mess. As much as his sister's toys remind me how thankful I am to have them here with me, each of Mark's toys brings heartache. I would give anything to be washing sand from his hair and play-dogh from his shirt, picking up his building blocks that he would carry around everywhere, and cleaning the half-eaten fruit puffs from his high chair...not to mention the "artwork" that he made on the couch with a ball point pen! Oh, those sweet chubby hands that got into so much mischief. How I wish that I could hold them again. How I wish that he was here to hold me.
I miss him.

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