There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Thursday, September 30, 2010

God, spare us from a life of fairness

The following is an excerpt from the book, "A Grace the soul grows through loss", written by Jerry Sitser. The author lost his wife, his 4 year old daughter and his mother all in the same tragic accident. I cherish the words of this man who has been ripped apart by grief and lived through it. His journey leads me to God's Word...points me in the direction of healing and gives me hope in the midst of this despair.

As my heart constantly wrestles with my mind for control, I focus on letting this truth make it's way deep inside my soul.

"I would prefer to take my chances living in a universe in which I get what I do not deserve-again, either way. That means that I will suffer loss, as I already have, but it also means I will receive mercy. Life will end up being far worse than it would have otherwise been; it will also end up being far better. I will have to endure the bad I do not deserve; I will also get the good I do not deserve. I dread experiencing undeserved pain, but it is worth it to me if I can also experience undeserved grace." (pg. 128)

"So, God spare us from a life of fairness! To live in a world with grace is better by far than to live in a world of absolute fairness. A fair world may make life nice for us, but only as nice as we are. We may get what we deserve, but I wonder how much that is and whether or not we would really be satisfied. A world with grace will give us more than we deserve. It will give us life, even in our suffering." (pg. 130)


  1. That was a book I resonated with too, Angie. This quote you picked was especially good.

    Yes - also what you said about your heart and your mind constantly wrestling for control. That seems to be the fight of faith and, at least in my experience, it is a daily one.

    "A world with grace will give us more than we deserve. It will give us life, even in our suffering." Perfect. That is it - that is exactly it. I am so glad you shared this.

    I continue to wrestle with the unfairness of Mark being taken from you, so violently and suddenly - so soon. When I look at his picture, I think, "It can't be borne, losing him." And yet you have to bear it. I really, really hate that. Everything I feel, you feel a million times more.

    In Pilgrim's Progress, the only way out of the dungeons in the Castle of Despair is the key called "Promise." That is what I hold to, and I know you do, too. The Lord's promises are true and we will still believe it, in spite of everything.

    God, anchor our souls. We believe You - and You will have to hold us until the end.

    Longing for you to hold him again,

    Cathy in Missouri

  2. Grief certainly does create a wrestling match between our hearts and our heads. I've felt that there is such a chasm between what I feel and what I know as I've walked this path, too.

    "A Grace Disguised" is a very good book. Thank you for its reminder about fairness.

    Peace be with you,

  3. what a great truth you shared. So true! What wonderful, undeserved grace we receive in our journey of sorrow. God;s Word is the "key" to our ability to continue on with life until we meet our little boys again, we seek promises, he gives us one to stand on, and just keep repeating the process and it wont be long til we have traveled the stones of promise and truth, then in a moment the trump will sound, the dead in Christ will rise and we will be caught up together and be with the Lord and our boys forever!!!!


  4. This is such a wonderful book. It was recommended to me after the stillbirth of our first and only child, Eve, this past November. It has helped me SO much. Glad you found it helpful, too. <3