There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Monday, September 13, 2010

Remind me

I'm having a hard time this morning not being able to kiss that beautiful face. My ears ache to hear his sweet voice. My heart breaks each day when I have to say goodbye all over again. Somehow I think that one morning I will wake up and Mark will be in the next room...waiting to run and give me a hug. I just can't believe that this is my life.
Please believe me when I say that I am trying...I am trying to be thankful for all that God has given me. I am thankful for the time that I had with Mark and I love his sisters every bit as much. There is nothing good that I have done to deserve the blessings that God has poured out on my family...and the blessings are so many. He gives and He takes away and in all things He is worthy to be praised.
I remind myself of these truths every day, because heart keeps forgetting.


  1. I believe you. It is evident how much you are trying and it is completely understandable to constantly ask why this happened. You are so amazingly strong, even though you may not feel it and may also think what choice do you have? But you do have a choice and you keep choosing to keep on going. You and your precious Mark have impacted my life beyond words could ever say. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, I look forward to meeting your beautiful son. May God Bless You and give you some relief that he only he has the power to do.

  2. I agree - "you do have a choice and you keep choosing to keep going."

    Angie, what I see when I look at you is true faith in the fire, the kind of tested faith that matters most.

    The Bible says that "for the joy set before Him" Jesus endured the cross - and you are enduring, too, for the joy set before you. You keep on believing the Lord that His promises about eternity are true, in spite of all the pain.

    This morning I thought about that verse: "Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." You keep doing that, and doing that, and coming back and doing it again. When the enemy says you can't do it one more day, you don't let him win - even when you want to.

    The struggle doesn't stop and the doubts won't always leave us alone, but in the end, I see you clinging tenaciously to the One Hope Who is the True Anchor for our souls.

    Today I met a woman whose son died in an accident this summer. When I hugged her, the hug was for her - but it was for you, too. I wish I could give you one.

    I asked if she would tell me about her son and her grief. When she was talking, I was thinking about you and how much you've shared with us in writing about Mark. You've taught me a lot you didn't know you were teaching.

    Mark, eternity can't come soon enough. We want you so much, sweet boy. We want to meet you, but most of all, we want to see you with your Mommy, your Daddy, and your sisters again. If I had it my way, today would be the day.

    Thanks for being you, Angie. Your honesty is very welcome and your writing makes my life richer.


    Cathy in Missouri

  3. Thinking of Mark and of you - again - and wishing there was some easy way through. There isn't. You know all too well.

    With love,

    Cathy in Missouri