There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Friday, June 5, 2009

The wonderful outdoors

I absolutely love this picture of Mark. Not only is he wearing the cutest plaid shorts, (which I could write a whole post about), but it captures his adorable, spunky personality in one shot. He isn't crying...he is yelling in his "Tarzan-like" roar.

It just doesn't seem at all possible that he isn't outside playing right now. He loved to be outside.

One activity that he particularly enjoyed was watering the garden...and my flowers...well, and his sisters! No really, he did love the water hose. He could sense that the water hose was on from a mile away and he would run and grab it out of my hands so that he could be mommy's big helper.

I have missed him most especially these past couple of weeks as I have been watering the garden and thinking how he should be here helping me. I am lonely as I think about him standing there so patiently watering every single plant. There was something so special about having a son.

My daughters are each unique and perfect in their own way and nothing will ever change that. I love everything about them. But, there was something different about having a little boy. He was a mommy's boy and I loved every second of it.

When he was a baby, people would ask us all of the time if it was "different" having a son after all of those daughters. It really wasn't. He was quite the same as our other children were as babies. But, when he became a toddler, everything changed. You know, he started "driving" every toy car and tractor in the house, he would knock his sisters block towers down just to irritate them, and he even found a ball point pen once and wrote all over the couch! (I now regret being able to wash most of that out. I wish I had left it just the way it was so that I could look at it now.)

He was boyish. And like I said before...he was mommy's boy. Don't tell my husband though...he thinks that Mark was a daddy's boy. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Mark was almost permanently attached to my husband's hip. Well, I guess he was just that loving of a son. We miss him so much.


  1. I came across your site via Hillary's site. Your little boy is absolutely precious. I haven't lost a child so I can't even begin to pretend that I understand that pain but I lost my MIL and my dad less than a year apart from a heart attack and cancer and I know that there were days that I thought I couldn't go on.

    God has been ever faithful to me though and even in the lowest of times I could feel Him near. You and your precious family will remain in my prayers. Lean into Him .

  2. Mark's mommy,
    What a wonderful tribute to your son and your grief! Your site is honest and open. I know that has helped me tremendously through this journey. I can totally relate to searching for something after the accident. I never could quite find it...something was always off and what I found never really made me feel like it was the same. But there were enough similarities that I found some comfort in the blog world.

    I am so glad that you found me. Our stories are so very similar. From their birthdates to circumstances surrounding the accidents and hospital stays to choices. I am hoping that we can help each other through this... There are not many that have a similar story. And I have been looking for 19 months for someone like me. I have prayed fervently for this. I think April's mommy was just what God planned.

    Thank you for visiting my site. You are a blessing, giving me a blog that understands me as well.

    In Him,